The Free Sampler's Practical Guide to New Yorkers

Dear New York City,

Let me introduce myself.  My name is Ned Donovan, but you may know me better as that guy who hawked falafel all summer on the corner of 6th Avenue and 17th Street at The Hummus & Pita Company.   For visual reference, here is a picture of me in my work garments with my roommate’s cat, Lucy, on my shoulders.

Her full name is "Lucy Fur". I know. It's brilliant. Also I'm remarkably unphotogenic...is that a word?

Look familiar?  No?  Well then I can’t help you.  But since this is my website and my blog, I’m going to give you some thoughts I’ve had about you since I became a very visible member of your city. 

You see as an actor, I’ve made a living out of creating characters, becoming characters, and incorporating characters into the various roles I’ve played over the years.  When I became the “Weekend Falafel Guy” for The Hummus & Pita Company (or as multiple heart-melting small children have said to me, The Hummus and Pi Taco) I didn’t quite realize how close you and I were going to get.  I got to know you and your residents very, very well.  I was given a job as the face for a company, handing out their fantastic product, for free, to the people of this city, and nothing brings out a person’s true character, like seeing how they react to something that is free.

A few caveats before we jump in.  This is not a demonization of any specific person or persons, or any specific group of people; in fact, the types of people I have observed are refreshingly devoid of delineation by race, gender, class, nationality, sexual orientation, creed, etc.  This is also not meant to belittle any of the customers of The Hummus & Pita Company (please don’t fire me, Dave, for writing this), I love this restaurant, the people are great, the food is unbelievable, the customers for the most part are patient, friendly, and exceedingly polite, and the company as a whole really does a great job.  If you haven’t eaten lunch/dinner there, do yourself a favor and go.

Alright, now that I’ve done the prerequisite “don’t fire me” speech, here we go.  In my observation, there are six different types of people walking your streets in regards to free samples, and I would like to offer other samplers out there some advice on how to recognize them, and how to deal with them.

I spent my summer holding a lot of trays that look like this...Did you get one from me?

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